If he knew

If only he knew how deep my feelings to him.

How much i really expect more & thinking about him everyday

expect that should not be expected and not likely to occur.

no sense at all to feel sorry for me.

a man who always makes me smile.
not ashamed to act silly in public.

always trying to make me laugh.

wiped tears on my cheeks.

he has become part of my life.

make me special in front of others

makes me feel like a woman the only one of the best.

But now,

You changed.

not like before that is always there when I needed.

NO YOU. now, later, and whenever.

no one can understand my feelings at this time.

which I know is just pray.

so that God gives me strength.
to forget you.
people who have become part of my life.
because I know. I do not deserve you.

Terlalu lama - Vierra

Terlalu lama
by: Vierra

sudah lama ku menanti dirimu
tahu tahu sampai kapankah
sudah lama kita bersama-sama
tapi segini sajakah

* entah sampai kapan ooo
entah sampai kapan

reff:
hari ini ku akan menyatakan cinta, nyatakan cinta
aku tak mau menunggu terlalu lama, terlalu lama

sadarkah kau, ku adalah wanita
aku tak mungkin memulai
sadarkah kau, kau menggantung diriku
aku tak mau menunggu

repeat *
repeat reff

(hari ini ku akan menyatakan cinta, nyatakan cinta)
aku tak mau menunggu terlalu lama, terlalu lama

repeat reff

TANGGA - UTUH

UTUH


Semakin ku ingkari,

semakin ku mengerti

hidup ini tak lengkap tanpamu

aku mengaku bisa, tapi hati tak bisa

reff:

sesungguhnya ku berpura-pura

relakan kau pilih cinta yang kau mau

sesungguhnya ku tak pernah rela

karena ku yang bisa

membuat hatimu utuh

sakit yang ku rasa bukan karena dia

tapi karena kau pilih cinta yang salah

aku mengaku bisa, tapi hati tak bisa

(repeat reff)

Bridge:

Kuakui sesungguhnya aku berpura-pura

relakan kau pilih cinta yang kau mau

dan aku takkan bisa

[rap]

tak bisa aku biarkan kau tersiksa

disia siakan cinta buta yg salah

Pulanglah kepadaku tempatmu di hatiku

cintaku membuatmu utuh

sesungguhnya ku tak pernah rela

karena ku yang bisa, karena hanya aku yang bisa

membuat hatimu.. utuh

download @ Tangga - Utuh

Christina perri - Jar of heart

JAR OF HEART - CHRISTINA PERRI

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
You lost the love
I loved the most

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

this song is about a girl would loved a boy with every part of her and he loved her deeply but he didn't fully understand what he had when he was with her, breaking up was the hardest decision she had to make, she could see he felt something for someone else even though he said he still loved her and would deny any feelings for the other girl, but he wanted to see if there was something better and not settle down just yet for he was only so young, so after she had enough of the lies she left him and he chose to purse the other girl, but all the while his first love was on his mind. She was still heart broken and still loved him, but hates what he did to her at the same time. even looking at him brought memories of what they had together, and she felt as though no one could replace what she had with him. a year goes by and throughout the year the boy stays with the other girl but knows it was not anywhere near the magic he had with his first love. he comes back into her life wanting her advice and help with what he should do, wanting his first love to tell him that she still needs him. but she has learnt never to trust him again, she will never let someone throw her away to find something better and then come to the realisation that she was the best he could have ever had and expect her to jump straight back into his arms. he hurt her so deeply that just coming back into her life wont fix it, she wishes she never met him so he could have never hurt her, wishes he didnt have any control over her, and wishes she never fell in love with a liar. who does he think he is coming back into her life after lying and choosing someone else to replace her, it will never work because of all the hurt he caused, all the lies he said and the hate created. the scar will be with her for the rest of her life but its a reminder to her to never let someone steal a part of her again, never to be tricked into believing empty words but mostly it is a reminder to never be tricked by him again. the scar is a learning curve so she can only improve what she has from now on and as soon as there is doubt she will let her heart take over and end it before she gets another gash that should have been prevented from the start.

about lyrics

HOLLA THERE
Just wanna share about some lyric , cause............ im in love with this lyric.
Check this one out !

• So easy to forget our love, the little things we do. (Bruno Mars - runaway )
• Just take my hand, fall in love with me again. ( Bruno Mars - runaway )
• If my body was on fire, ooh You’ d watch me burn down in flames You said you loved me you’re a liar Cause you never, ever, ever did baby ... ( Bruno Mars - Grenade)
• I’d catch a grenade for ya, Throw my hand on a blade for ya, I’d jump in front of a train for ya, You know I’d do anything for ya, I would go through all this pain, Take a bullet straight through my brain. Yes, I would die for ya baby, But you won’t do the same ( Bruno Mars - Grenade)
• Tell me why you're so hard to forget, dont remind me. im not over it ( David archuleta - A little
• We're not speaking, and I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me? (Taylor Swift -The Story of Us)
• You ain't ever coming back to me. That's not how things were supposed to be. You take my hand just to give it back. No other lover has ever done that (Maroon5 - Through with you )
• I watched you cry bathed in sunlight by the bathroom door. You said you wished you did not love me anymore. (Maroon5-Just a feeling )
  
• You may not believe me but I gave you all I had (Maroon5-Just a feeling )
• Look for the girl with the broken smile ask her if she wants to stay awhile and she will be loved(maroon5 - She Will Beloved)
  
• My heart is full and my door's always open , You can come anytime you want (maroon5 - She Will Beloved)
• I wish I could lay down beside you when the day is done and wake up to your face against the morning sun." -(Adele -Hiding My Heart)
• "My heart says “Go” but my brain says “No” (Lenka - Heart Skips A Beat)
• I know it's time to leave but you'll be in my dreams." (Lady Antebellum -Just A Kiss)
• she said Goodbye too many times before and her heart is breaking in front of me ( Maroon5 - This Love )
• I tried and tried to let you know, i love you I'm letting go. It may not last but I don't know
  Just don't know (Maroon5 - Nothing last forever )
• It's not over tonight just give me one more chance to make it right I may not make it through the night I won't go home without you (Maroon5- won't go home without you)
• Everything’s reminding me of you What can I do? ( Marron5- better than we break )
• I'm beautiful in my way, cause God makes no mistakes ( Lady Gaga - Born this Way)
• will he love you like i loved you ? will he tell you everyday ? will he make you feel like your invinciblewith every word he'll say ? (ARTTM - Like we used to)
• Take it easy baby we could make it right. Girl, you know my love is always on your side ( ARTTM - On Your Side)
• baby baby blue eyes, stay with me by my side till the morning through the night ( ARTTM - baby blue eyes)
• My eyes dont believe her but my heart swears by her ( ARTTM - baby blue eyes)
• Before i fall to fast, kiss me quick and make it last, so i can see how badly this will hurt me when you say good bye ( DEMI LOVATO - CATCH ME)
• I can't set my hopes too high Cause every hello ends with a goodbye. If this is love, please don't break me ( DEMI LOVATO - CATCH ME)
  
  

And so many thanks for read my posting :D
just gimme a comments or vote me
THANKS:D

Uneasy

I need holidays!! Not just day offs T_T. And plus, I’m tellin u, I can’t enjoy this day offs. Shit.
If it could happen, I’d love to skip school as long as I want. And I don’t have to be afraid of what my future will be if I don’t go to school. It seems like I’m too afraid with my future. I never felt like this before. I think I’m becoming like this since I entered high school -_-
The only thing that makes me so uneasy recently.. is about school. I often think like, “how will I survive in this hell-like school?” “Will I survive this 1st year?” “Will I make it to science class?” “What if I don’t make it to science class?” And for the worst, “What if I can’t survive to the 2nd year?”
I know I should always be positive. But I couldn’t help it… You know, I’m not as confident as I’m used to when I was in junior high. In junior high, it was heaven. I can relax however and whenever I want. It wasn’t a hard time like now, back then. There was nothing to worry. I felt so smart in junior high, but now… I feel like I’m the most idiot student at the school T_T
I’m struggling to find ways to survive this 1st year and make it to science class w/out math. But then I realize (I should’ve been realize sooner or in other words, I’m denying it. Yes, pathetic.), that there’s no way it could be happen. Oh god of math, please please please… Make me smarter so I can find ur x, ur y, ur z, ur a, ur n, or anything you want me to find faster. Pleaseeeeee~ I’m dying here. Hoyyy I’m dying. Ok I think I’m exaggerating-_-

Untuk kesekian kalinya, dia membuatku tegar :"D

Udah beberapa hari ini rasanya pengen ngungkapin unek unek gue ke dia. Padahal hari ini bener bener capek bgt gara gara abis BBQ-an sama Harsyee sama yang lain, tp gpp deh mumpung besok juga libur, jadi gue akan ungkapin semuanya malem ini , disini juga ( lebay bgt ya ).
Jadi, gue putus sama mantan gue yang namanya harsye itu emang kita mau sendiri dulu. Sebenernya emang udah ngerasa nyaman bgt sih sama dia, tp kalo dipikir-pikir lagi gue sama dia beda agama ? ( YaAllah , kenapa sekalinya nyaman kaya gini harus beda agama ). Eits , kenapajadi ceritain dia yah ? nanti malah dia ke GR-am lagi. HAHAHAHA :D
Back to topic, ya pokoknya setelah gue putus sama dia, guedeket deh tuh sama temen gue, nah gue emang deket sama ini orang udah lama sih , tp waktu itu sempet gue sama dia marahan, ga komunikasian sama sekali. sampe akhirnya waktu itu... gue gak tau kapan... DIA NYAPA GUE DULUAN. oke gue ulang. DIA NYAPA GUE DULUAN!!!! oh my........... lo tau ? seberapa senengnya gue ? gue mikir, mimpi apa yah sampe dia bisa nyapa gue duluan. Dan lo tau apa ? semakin kesini gue sama dia semakin deket dan semakin dekeet dekeet dong. Secara enggak langsung, pasti perasaan gue ke dia bisa dong muncul lagi ? bisa kan ? Yaiyalah bisa, coba aja lo bayangin...... Tapi , semakin gue deket sama dia semakin gue makin deket sama dia, itu semua malah ngebuat gue tiap hari galau , tiap hari nangis, tiap hari mata bengkak. Mau tau kenapa ? Yaiyalah secara gue ngerasa kalo dia emang ngasih harapan palsu ke gue. HARAPAN PALSU !! HARAPAN PALSU!!! pas gue sadar itu, sumpah nyesek bgt ya asli bgt bgt.

Seharian gue mikir kenapa yah dia bisa tega gitu ke gue ? kenapa dia cuma bisa php-in gue dong. dikira enak kali yah di php-in gitu (KALO NANTI LO BACA BLOG GUE, DI PHP-IN ITU GAK ENAK.... GAK ENAK) ups....... sabar ren sabar.. nah tadi nih gue kan kerumah harsye sama temen gue yang lain, disana ada acara gitu. Pas sampe disana biasalah gue ngobrol ngobrol dulu sama nyokap bokapnya, kan gak enak kalo ga ngobrol. Selesai itu , gue langsung ke taman belakang nyiapin bahan bahan buat BBQan. Sebenernya hari ini sih harusnya seneng, tapi karna gue keingetan sama dia, jadi nya gitu deh . HAMPA!

* waktu duduk di teras*


harsye nyamperin gue.....

H: " kamu kenapa ?"
G: "gpp kok, cuma gak enak badan aja "
H: " serius ? Aku kira enggak"
*hening beberapa saat*
H: " Ren........"
G : " apa ? "
H : " Kenapa ?"
G : *nangis* " aku inget dia sye"
H: " dia? siapa ?"
G :" yang php-in aku"
H:" kenapa kamu harus inget ? Emangnya sekarang di lagi inget sama kamu ?"
*gue diem aja* beberapa menit kemudian.....
G :" mana mungkin sye, dia gak mungkin mikirin aku"
H:" Liat aku, kalo misalkan dia emang bener suka dan emang sayang sama kamu. Dia pasti enggak akan kaya gini ke kamu, dia pasti ga akan buat kamu jadi gila kaya gini. Kamu tau gak berapa banyak waktu kamu yang udah kamu buang cuma buat mikirin dia ? Have fun aja sama yang sekarang. Semua udah di atur sama TUHAN. Tuhan gak akan beri kita cobaan yang melebihi batas kemampuan kita.

jegeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.......... pas harsye ngomong gitu gue langsung bgt mikir, bener juga sih apa kata dia. benerjuga sih kenapa gue harus stuck kaya gini. Padahal siapa dia siapa gue ? TEMEN DOANGKAN ? GAK LEBIH KAN ?

G : " bener juga sye. Thanks ya"
H : " udah sekarang ikut aku aja sam ayang lain. Ayodong, mumpung aku juga lagi dijakarta"




YA AMPUN SYEE.. GUE BENER BENER GAK TAU HARUS NGOMONG APA SAMA LO. LO ITU SELALU BUAT GUE TEGAR MULU SYE.

Oke.................
mulai sekarang gue gak akan terlalu berharap ke dia, gue akan anggap dia temen aja dan gak lebih. keep smile ren :D




with love

irene baten

Pelangi diMatamu :')

Pelangi di Matamu

30 menit, kita disini, tanpa suara
dan aku resah, harus menunggu lama, kata darimu…

Mungkin butuh kursus, merangkai kata, untuk bicara
dan aku benci, harus jujur padamu, tentang semua ini

[#]
Jam dinding pun tertawa, kar’na ku hanya diam, dan membisu
Ingin kumaki, diriku sendiri, yang tak berkutik di depanmu

[Reff]
Ada yang lain, di senyummu,
yang membuat lidahku, gugup tak bergerak
Ada pelangi, di bola matamu,
dan memaksa diri, ‘tuk bilang…
aku sayang padamu
aku sayang padamu

Mungkin Sabtu nanti, ku ungkap semua, isi di hati
dan aku benci, harus jujur padamu, tentang semua ini

[#]

Ada yang lain, di senyummu,
yang membuat lidahku, gugup tak bergerak
Ada pelangi, di bola matamu,
seakan memaksa, dan terus memaksa
ada pelangi….

[Reff]